I feel like I can be such an selfish, apathetic person.
The other day I was reading a blog written by my dear friend, Mariah, and I realized just how numb my heart has become. She was talking about all the pain we see in the world: forced prostitution, starvation, slavery... and how she was moved to tears as her eyes were opened to their pain.
It hit me as I read this that I felt nothing. I was thinking, "Oh, how sad... that's all so terrible." But my heart wasn't broken like it should be. How could I be so ignorant that I looked at a homeless, starving child and didn't feel gut-wrenching pain for them??
I know that God takes this seriously--how we treat the lowest, most hurting people. Right after I finished reading Mariah's blog, God led me to Matthew 25:31-46. Jesus is talking about the end of time when He'll separate the people from each other, "as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats." (32) He will say to His sheep,
"Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." (34-36)
But then he turns to the goats... and he sends them away from him "into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels" (41). His reason for doing this? Because they failed to do what the sheep did. Both groups ask Him,
"Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirst and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?" (37-39, 44)
...Jesus' response to them is what shook me: "whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." (45)
Watch this video by Eric Ludy... He talks about this very issue. I know that it caught in my throat.
I acknowledge that my heart isn't where it should be... yet. My prayer is that God will give me His heart; that my heart will break for what breaks His heart. That I will feel what He feels, and love who He loves.
(Check out my friend's blog post as well -- Mariah Fowler: Give Me Your Heart )