Saturday, April 30, 2011

In the midst of it all...

Tuesday morning I wasn't feeling very well. Fighting a cough and frog-throat, I had to run to the back of the store for the multiple times to cough. Around the 36th time, co-worker came back me,

"Leslie, you gotta be taking care of yourself. You need to rest."

"Oh, I don't have time to rest. I can't take days off of school with finals coming up, and work doesn't let me call in. Plus, I need the hours..."

"Leslie, you're going to eventually reach that point when you can't get out of bed, and you're not going to have any choice but to let yourself rest."

The next day, my coughing had gotten so bad that I could barely walk across the house without having a terrible fit, and I missed my first day of school this semester. That afternoon, I went into work to let them know I couldn't come in the next day, and guess what co-worker came up to me...

"Leslie, I thought you couldn't miss school? You couldn't miss work?"

A humbling experience for sure, and the past four days on my couch with bronchitis has given me plenty of time to dwell on it. I've realized that if I keep pressing on without rest, attempting to rely on my own strength, I'm going to collapse. These struggles are a reminder that I'm not strong enough.

While preparing for this upcoming summer, I often feel overwhelmed. Finals this next week, trying to work and save up money for both the mission trip and a visit to my hometown. Coming down with bronchitis and being forced to miss two days of work and three days of school isn't helping either of those... At least, from my perspective, it seems not to be. But when I stop and look up to my Father, He reminds me that He sees so much more. He sees just what I need, and He will provide.

The hardest time to see the whole picture is when you're standing in the middle of it.
Like an abstract painting, I look in every direction but only see random brush strokes.
Some light, some dark, all swirling around in an endless twister of color, nothing making sense.

I take comfort in Christ's provision. 
I'm just one person, stuck in the midst of the story.
He is the one painting it around me.
He sees the whole picture and the finished product.
When things feel out of control, it's because He's reshaping the picture to make it ever more beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. A post filled with wisdom!

    "When things feel out of control, it's because He's reshaping the picture to make it ever more beautiful."

    I'll remember this one!